Hi, it's me and I'm dead

I've killed myself, again, and let me just say (if I can) that this time cremation is out of the question. No more ashes for me, my friends, but no worms either. Just send me overboard to feed the fishies. I know, dying so far from any large body of water may prove ionconvenient to you (not to mention the environemtal laws you might break) and may seem a bit excessive, especially since I'm not one to complain or nag, at least not in my present state of decomposition. Nevertheless please respect this last request I'll ever make, unless I really do decide to return as another homo sapiens sapiens in what dreams may come (oh please, don't we all steal from the best every once in a while?). So, tata, my dear friends. The wake's on me. Love, [Name withheld by request of next of kin] Ps. The Jameson's that's left is first come, first served. Sorry about the Baileys: It is finished -- along with the rum, the cognac, and that one merlot from Washington State I'd been holding onto all these years. Nothing like diazapam and mixed drinks for a grand send-off, don't you agree? Best 30 minutes I ever spent! Too bad the rest of you missed the party. Better luck next time we're well met.