Memory pieced together with glue and paper What I can remember - He was too small, but had a perfect mouth - he used it like a technician, learned to love all my lips - His tongue was long, and flat and hard/soft/wet, and god came to me in threes, with his fingers in it. - he didn't know why I held him in my hand, felt soft harden every time the tube was on - He yelled when drunk, dance stomped a nasty tune but only with his words. - don't be like daddy is what I said - He didn't like my Barry White, but put up with it when we smoked weed and fucked. - I rode on top, held up by hands on freckled breasts, he said you're my white angel - He never liked to call me slut or rough me up when I asked. - wanted me to dominate and tie him up - I left that boy for Jay, my married man who did all the things I wanted but had never had. - an older man, he understood what danger is - He cried and threw that trashcan down the stairs but not at me. - its metal skin was dented, but I took it from him anyway - I wish I had him, some days.